Us wedding photographers often get asked some weird and wonderful questions during a wedding day. Some are universal across us all and some a little more unique. So here is my, very much tongue in cheek, ’10 Questions a Wedding Photographer gets asked’…or at least I do

You look like Peter Kay, are you related?
Oi, it’s not big and it’s not clever…who am I kidding, I do look a little like Peter Kay. People used to say you look like him but not as ‘big’ however, since I found out about Papa Johns ‘Special Garlic sauce’, they dropped that last bit off 🙁
Am I offended by it, No, it has become a wedding tradition for at least one guest to ask me or to walk by a group of people and hear ‘he totally does look like him’. The man is a comedy genuis

Do you want a drink? / Isn’t Time You Had A Beer?
Diet coke or coffee please 🙂
I love beer, wine & a cheeky Bailey’s (a real mans drink) as much as the next person, but if you want your images to stay level, then it’s best I lay off the good stuff.

Are you a Cowboy?
This is related to my super cool camera straps/harness I wear during a wedding day. They totally do look like I’ve just rode in to town ready for a high noon shoot out. You should see the looks I get when I stop for petrol in the morning. I’m pretty sure a few people have had their hand on the phone ready to call the police for fear of the Lone Ranger about to stick them up.

How long are you here for? / You still here?
This is a massive compliment when I get asked this because it shows the guests have realised that I’m working my socks off. In answer to the question, I’m here until you are all tipsy/drunk and throwing me some amazing shapes on the dance floor. I start early to capture the morning preparations and stay late so I can tell the complete story of your wedding day. I don’t put a time limit on how long I stay.

Is this your full time job? / How many weddings have you done this year?

I am super proud to say this is my full time job. I am a wedding photographer and that’s what I do. I also do some family photography and a smidgin of commercial photography work too. Starting J S Coates Wedding Photography is the third best thing I have ever done behind marrying my wife and becoming a dad. OK, maybe the fourth best thing, I totally forgot I completed Streets of Rage on the Mega Drive back in ’95.

For those wanting to know how many weddings I have shot this year, I average around 40 weddings a year and everyone is unique and awesome.

I bet you have seen some things doing this job?
Yes, yes I have.
Oh wait, you want to know specifics?…Whatever happens at a wedding, stays at a wedding 🙂

Can I take a picture of you with your camera? / Can I borrow your camera?
This bad boy usually only gets asked after a beer or five. We can attempt a selfie with me holding the camera but there is no way you can hold it. This is not me being mean, I have insurance so breakages don’t bother me too much. What does bother me is the potential for the wrong button to be pressed and some of the images get deleted. Not sure how I would bring that up with the bride and groom…”Err Well I let drunk Dave take my camera and well he pressed the little dustbin button and then dropped the camera in the toilet”
If you have a photobooth, I will insist on a snap with the bride and groom to add to my collection 🙂

Can you take my picture?
Asked either by loving couples or drunk people on the dance floor and the answer is always…Hell Yes

Was that you hiding in the bushes / Lying in the dirt / out in the rain?
Yes but I’m not weird I promise 🙂
I’m always looking for interesting angles or different compositions than the norm so these weird and wonderful places often create weird and wonderful images. You have to suffer for your art and my suffering usually comes from usually being filthy by the time the night is over.

Have you ever shot a wedding and the bride didn’t turn up?
Luckily no, but there’s a first time for everything 🙂